I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
