What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
