so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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