Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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