return my video game
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
