Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
