She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
