You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
