Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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