Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
