She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
