my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
