idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
