Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
