so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
