Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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