I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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