The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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