sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
