drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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