what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize