I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
