If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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