if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
