Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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