I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
