I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
