sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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