So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
