Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
