ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
