Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
