Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
