Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
