I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Of course I have a pirate flag
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize