So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
