we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
