Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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