I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
