Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
