I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
