No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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