He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It's just like the Real World with babies
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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