I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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