We're facebook friends in real life
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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