oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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