Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
