Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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