Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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