i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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