like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
