Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The ass gains better be worth it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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