You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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