im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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