I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So many bounce houses so little time
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize