i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize