The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
