I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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