Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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