I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
