Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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