You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
