Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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