I skipped work to stalk him.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
