Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
