absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize