Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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