New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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