Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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